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  • IN MEMORIAM: The SHARE Play

    Written By Asya Morozov ’29 In an unexpected and momentous decision, Princeton has decided to eliminate the SHARE play from future freshman Orientations. This cut has left students wallowing, as the play had accumulated a mass cult following amongst the Great Class of 2029. “Why would we make freshmen sit and watch a piece that…

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  • BREAKING: University Axes Trash Cans, Will Require Raccoons to Buy Dining Plan

    Written by William Zhao ’29 Starting next fall, the University has announced that raccoons living on-campus will be required to pay for dining plans. Previously, the furriest inhabitants of campus had been part of a free-trash-can-buffet system, relying on the generous abundance of waste bins around campus and the amply food-wasting habits of university students.…

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  • OPINION: The True Costs of The Budget Cuts

    Written by Richie N.C. West ’28. Edited by Yara Almoussa ‘28 and Elena Eiss ‘28. On FDOC, I was betrayed. I stepped foot into the Hogwarts-style rooms of the Rockefeller and Mathey dining hall, lovingly known as RoMa, and made an immediate beeline for the grill. As a humble Princetonian of simple desires, I knew…

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  • EDITORIAL: Ways That Make Sense to Save a Few Cents

    Elena Eiss ‘28 and Yara Almoussa ‘28 To create the change this student and many others want to see on campus, we asked our newest Tiger Magazine recruits to help brainstorm some money-saving measures the university can adopt to make Princeton great again. Here are some of their suggestions: Selling a Gutenberg Bible All those…

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  • Everything Is Fine and Nothing Is Wrong

    Georgia Martin ’27 We here at TigerMag just want to let you know that EVERYTHING IS FINE AND NOTHING IS WRONG. We know this because there has never been any issue in the world or in our local community that has affected anyone, so it must be the case that there is nothing bad in…

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  • Colleen Hoover Picked Over Frederick Douglass for HUM Sequence

    Mira Ho-Chen ‘26 and Juna Brothers ‘28 Last Friday, the syllabus for the next semester of the Humanities (HUM) Sequence was published. The course aims to give first-year students a taste of some of the greatest works of writing in the Western canon, from ancient philosophy to contemporary fiction. To the surprise of some, the…

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  • Battling the PUB

    Lucy Harper ’28 (and British) Have you been a victim of the Princeton University Band (PUB, pronounced ‘pee-you-bee’) in the last two years? Have you accidentally told someone that you play a wind or brass instrument and been immediately added to some listserv telling you that rehearsal is at 7? Then look no further than…

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  • Princeton to Increase Financial Aid Income Cap in Act of Spite

    Danny Smiley ‘28 On March 17th, 2025, the Princeton University Office of Undergraduate Admissions announced the expansion of full financial aid to students with families earning less than exactly $200,001 per year. This statement comes just minutes after Harvard University pledged to be tuition-free to families earning less than $200,000 per year—a noticeably smaller number…

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  • A String of Club Pickups Terrorize the Globe

    Yara Almoussa ’28 For the past 2 weeks, citizens of the world have reported a string of unexpected and terrifying events that are presumed to have originated from Princeton University. A longstanding tradition for many student organizations on the Ivy League campus, “pickups,” has seeped out of the Orange Bubble and into the rest of…

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  • We Might Be In Hoboken Next Year

    Luke Schrieber ’28 President Eisgruber has been in the news a lot this past year, with the encampments, the pressure to move to Hoboken, the Supreme Court overturning affirmative action, and so on. Now, everyone knows that the affirmative action debates will resolve themselves at some point or another. The main issue currently facing Princeton,…

    Read more: We Might Be In Hoboken Next Year